Insomniac Eulogy
the depths of my mind
the sleeplessness
makes me think
rousing ideas
not knowing what they mean
not knowing what they represent
not certain of when sleep will come
tossing
turning
the thoughts
damn the thoughts
they don't bring me rest
they bring anxiety
anger
love
and everything in between
but a certain thought
worse than the rest
out from my shadow-filled head
i've grown to detest
the grip
the hold
the pain of this restlessness
like a hand
covering my mouth
like a needle
gouging out my eyes
like a hammer
smashing my eardrums
like hot wax
burning the taste from my tongue
like a razor
cutting the skin from my hands
just like a human being
pointing the finger
blaming the other
for thoughts and desires
the other has not wrought
i cover my ears
fucking voices
leave me in peace
please leave me alone
please
the joy that will come
when they finally cease
isn't it ironic
to turn around
take a look back
and to see
that the only person
not telling myself
what to be
......
......
......
that person was me
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